On my birthday, a good friend sent me an email that said, “Mark is Double Nickels Today!” That made me smile. I like myself today. That’s a strange to say if you are 25 years old. I certainly didn’t like me much then. I do now. Life is funny that way. It’s not that I think less of myself; it’s that I think of myself less. It’s self-worth with humility.
A mentor said to me 20 years ago, “You wouldn’t worry quite so much what others think of you if you only realized how little they actually do!” I don’t care what other people think of me. I don’t think I ever did. What is different now is I can do that without hurting someone else’s feelings. I have empathy now. I think twice and speak once (or at times, not at all.)
I like what Anne Lamott says, “I am decades past my salad days, and even past the main course: maybe I am in my cheese days–sitting atop the lettuce leaves on the table for a while now with all the other cheese balls, but with much nutrition to offer, and still delicious.”
I have amazing friends. Mexican Jail friends. A dozen or more. I can pick up the phone and call at least twelve guys who would drop what they are doing and help me if I asked. Why? Because I have helped them for years without ever asking for anything in return. I have a full emotional bank account of friends. In my twenties, I was always overdrawn.
I have three grown boys that are mature, well-adjusted, intelligent, driven, focused men. They have bright futures. When I talk to them in person or by phone, they always end it with, “I love you Dad.” Those are the sweetest words in the English language.
I have a wife who should have left me many times but didn’t. 33 years in June. She overlooks my many flaws and continues to be there in tough times. We have been through many long, cold winters together. Financial winters, relationship winters, health winters, death winters. Francis Bacon said; “A woman is a three act play: The first act she is your lover. The second act, your best friend, your third act, your nurse!” (If you are lucky.) There is comfort in that.
I am in good shape for my age. That’s a strange thing to say aloud. As arrogant as that sounds, I have earned it. I used to weigh 300# and had a 46” waist. Not anymore. I work out 4-5 times a week. I eat right (most of the time). I love to swim, do yoga, and lift weights. “No food tastes as good as skinny feels.” I am proud of my 36” waist. “A waist is a terrible thing to mind.”
I love my work. I travel every week. I get paid to do and say things I used to get in trouble for in high school. I speak for a living. It’s a strange job if you really think about it. I step in front of crowd of people and entertain them, share ideas and insights that hopefully make a difference in their personal and professional life. I was born for this work. I tried it in Kindergarten and was sent home with a note. Oh, yes, and I write every day. I flunked high school English. I have a year of junior college. No matter. When the mood strikes me, I write. I read a couple of books a week for ideas, inspiration, and education. I have turned that hobby, that avocation into a job. Someone just ordered $200 worth of my books on my web site. Going to the post office to send off that order is one of life’s simple pleasures.
I live on the beach in Edmonds. I am watching a guy wind surf as I write this. (Hey, I could do THAT!) When the weather gets a little too wet for me, I drive 3 hours east to Lake Chelan where the sun always shines. 300 sunny days a year. We have a sweeping view of the lake from our second floor condo. Life is good.
I wouldn’t trade any of it, the ups, and the downs. The good times and bad. The joy and the heartache. Double Nickels is a great place to be. It can no longer be considered late youth or even early middle age. Having said that, I would not give back a year of the life I have lived. I like myself today. Can you say the same?
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Double Nickels
by Mark Matteson on April 29, 2013 in Commentary
On my birthday, a good friend sent me an email that said, “Mark is Double Nickels Today!” That made me smile. I like myself today. That’s a strange to say if you are 25 years old. I certainly didn’t like me much then. I do now. Life is funny that way. It’s not that I think less of myself; it’s that I think of myself less. It’s self-worth with humility.
A mentor said to me 20 years ago, “You wouldn’t worry quite so much what others think of you if you only realized how little they actually do!” I don’t care what other people think of me. I don’t think I ever did. What is different now is I can do that without hurting someone else’s feelings. I have empathy now. I think twice and speak once (or at times, not at all.)
I like what Anne Lamott says, “I am decades past my salad days, and even past the main course: maybe I am in my cheese days–sitting atop the lettuce leaves on the table for a while now with all the other cheese balls, but with much nutrition to offer, and still delicious.”
I have amazing friends. Mexican Jail friends. A dozen or more. I can pick up the phone and call at least twelve guys who would drop what they are doing and help me if I asked. Why? Because I have helped them for years without ever asking for anything in return. I have a full emotional bank account of friends. In my twenties, I was always overdrawn.
I have three grown boys that are mature, well-adjusted, intelligent, driven, focused men. They have bright futures. When I talk to them in person or by phone, they always end it with, “I love you Dad.” Those are the sweetest words in the English language.
I have a wife who should have left me many times but didn’t. 33 years in June. She overlooks my many flaws and continues to be there in tough times. We have been through many long, cold winters together. Financial winters, relationship winters, health winters, death winters. Francis Bacon said; “A woman is a three act play: The first act she is your lover. The second act, your best friend, your third act, your nurse!” (If you are lucky.) There is comfort in that.
I am in good shape for my age. That’s a strange thing to say aloud. As arrogant as that sounds, I have earned it. I used to weigh 300# and had a 46” waist. Not anymore. I work out 4-5 times a week. I eat right (most of the time). I love to swim, do yoga, and lift weights. “No food tastes as good as skinny feels.” I am proud of my 36” waist. “A waist is a terrible thing to mind.”
I love my work. I travel every week. I get paid to do and say things I used to get in trouble for in high school. I speak for a living. It’s a strange job if you really think about it. I step in front of crowd of people and entertain them, share ideas and insights that hopefully make a difference in their personal and professional life. I was born for this work. I tried it in Kindergarten and was sent home with a note. Oh, yes, and I write every day. I flunked high school English. I have a year of junior college. No matter. When the mood strikes me, I write. I read a couple of books a week for ideas, inspiration, and education. I have turned that hobby, that avocation into a job. Someone just ordered $200 worth of my books on my web site. Going to the post office to send off that order is one of life’s simple pleasures.
I live on the beach in Edmonds. I am watching a guy wind surf as I write this. (Hey, I could do THAT!) When the weather gets a little too wet for me, I drive 3 hours east to Lake Chelan where the sun always shines. 300 sunny days a year. We have a sweeping view of the lake from our second floor condo. Life is good.
I wouldn’t trade any of it, the ups, and the downs. The good times and bad. The joy and the heartache. Double Nickels is a great place to be. It can no longer be considered late youth or even early middle age. Having said that, I would not give back a year of the life I have lived. I like myself today. Can you say the same?
Tags: Anne Lamott, birthday, double nickels, emotional bank account, humility, self worth